Finding Gratitude in Difficult Times

Sometimes when we encounter tough seasons it can be difficult to feel grateful for anything.

After I split with my ex, everyone seemed to be telling me all the things they think you are supposed to say to someone going through a breakup, yes you know them…plenty more fish in the sea, you deserve better etc. (well if I deserve better why can’t I just have him - right?!). I just couldn’t feel grateful for anything.

Sure, it could have been a hell of a lot worse, I had my family, my friends and my health. But I didn’t care, everything was pointless.

I kept hearing about a gratitude practice, so I figured I would give it a chance. But I was doing it as another tick box exercise to pretend I was doing all I could to help myself. I was also skeptical of how writing a few things down would make me feel any better. No matter how many people say “you have so much to be grateful for” until you see it and feel it, it's useless.

Practicing gratitude is taking time out, stepping back and reflecting on what you are thankful for.

This practice has so many benefits but in a nutshell, it reduces negative emotions and therefore increases overall happiness, who doesn’t want more of that?!  

I used to scribble down three things and think “tick”, tried this it doesn’t work! I wasn’t doing it from my heart and being honest, I wasn’t willing to see what I had.  I was so focused on what I had lost. I kept hearing others say it was so great, all these people couldn’t be lying right?! I decided I’d give it another go, get honest and really lean into it, so I took the first step….and bought a fabulous new journal. 

Getting grateful takes getting commitment, I do my practice in the evening where I reflect on the day, people I have spoken with or experiences I had that lit me up (even just a little!).

Right now, you might not be feeling thankful for the situation you are in and that’s ok. Start small, the small things will eventually build up.  When I started, I was grateful for my lovely new journal and then also my job which paid me a salary so I could buy the journal. 

Remember what you focus on expands, this practice allows you to focus on the positive elements in your life and attract in more of that goodness.  

Here are my tips for getting started: 

1) Buy a journal you love, something you know you will be committed to writing in.

2) List 3 things, there’s no limit here, but it’s good to start small. The “things” can be people, animals, places, experiences, objects, again there is no limits here!

3)  Write out why you are grateful for it, this step is so important. This was the step I was missing when I first tried practicing gratitude.  Why are you grateful for that friend you had a conversation with?! 

4) Feel it, is it because that friend made you laugh and feel loved?  Or is that that top you bought made you feel fabulous? Or is it the roof over your head is keeping you warm?

5) Don’t overthink it, this journal is for your eyes only. The things you write down can be as big or as little as you like.

I am so grateful for you taking the time to read this.

I’d love to know your thoughts or if you are still struggling with this practice. Let me know!

Cheryl x